It's been a week of conflicting opinions. What's new? Went to UCLA to meet with the surgeon. I correctly predicted that he would tell me I needed surgery. When was the last time you had your brakes checked and they told you you didn't need brakes? It's like that in the medical profession I'm realizing. But the surgeon was a bit surprised when he did an actual physical exam. He asked me how long it had been since I stopped chemo and radiation. "End of November." "Well, in all likelihood the tumor has grown then" he said. He was wrong. Actually he had a difficult time FINDING the tumor this time. So he decided to have me come back in three months. I'm sure he figures by then I'll be begging to have the surgery. He wants me to go back and have the exact same test I had in February, with the same doctor doing the test - a sort of combined colonoscopy and ultrasound. This is the test that showed no sign of cancer last time and that the tumor had shrunken. I told him I can tell the tumor has continued to shrink and that I'm healing. After the exam I think he may be starting to believe me. Then on Thursday I went to see my oncologist. First thing out of his mouth "So, you had the surgery?" He was pretty upset when I told him "No." I told him I felt better and I felt I was continuing to heal and the tumor was shrinking even more so I thought it was better to shrink it as much as possible, even if I eventually had surgery. Smaller is better right? So he examines me. Pushes down on my abdomen, pushes down over my liver, etc. "No pain," he asks. "No." He asks me some more questions about symptoms I should be having, but I'm not. "Maybe we cured you," he says. "I may just have to write a paper about you." I tell him that I think the problem has been that all this time he and the other doctors have ASSUMED that I have been doing nothing to impact this cancer on my own all along and since I stopped treatment in November. When I've told them I take a lot of supplements, I guess they have figured I meant "One a Day" vitamins and minerals or "Centrum Silver." That ain't what I take. So I tell him a couple of the things I DO take. "Turmeric, AHCC, Melatonin." "That's good" he says. "Turmeric is very good." Now suddenly he's interested. Wants me to bring him a list of the things I've been taking. Wants to know how I decided WHAT to take. I tell him about all the research I've done on my own. So I will give him the list. He can write his paper and take the credit. All I want is for other people to have the chance I've had.

So, I'm pretty optimistic about these upcoming tests. I keep taking my daily supplements and I keep feeling better and feeling things healing inside me. And I pray. The next thing for me is to begin studying TCM - Traditional Chinese Medicine. It will be distance learning through a Chinese hospital, then a brief residency in China. Gotta keep making lemonade from these lemons I was given, right? Have I told you not to let the doctors totally take over your care? To get second opinions? To get all the tests you can? To think positive and never give up? I hope you've been listening. I hope that if you or someone you know end up in a similar situation you will remember me and my story. I hope you will take control and go into the battle fully prepared to come out the other side victorious, with or without the help of your doctors. And if I can help, I hope you will contact me. Thanks for keeping up with me through these blogs. Thanks for all the positive thoughts, prayers and good wishes. It really does help. Enjoy your long weekend my friends! Luv yas! BTW - new pics of me at the Cancer Survivors' Park in Rancho Mirage are up on my MySpace page. Click here.